where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
