so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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