Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
