also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
