Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have post one night stand depression
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