So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
