You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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