I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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