so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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