this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
