I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
