Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I need water and some morals
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
