My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
