the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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