We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dicks are not precious.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
