Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
