I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
