I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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