Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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