did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
