like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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