I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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