I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
