Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
40s are totally the cure
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
