Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
