I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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