I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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