spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
