i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
3pm strippers are depressing
You may now shotgun with the bride
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
