Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's just like the Real World with babies
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
