I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
