i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just blew my weed a kiss
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
