Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I died a long time ago.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
