I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize