remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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