I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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