So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
