While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
