I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
