Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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