tell your sister to shave her snatch
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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