Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
