My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Randomize
