i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The air was thick with penises
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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