I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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