i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize