i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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