Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize