He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize