I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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