i think i have herpe
just one?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
