If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
