i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i need some magic done to my vagina
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
