it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dicks are not precious.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
