You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
