No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
