How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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