Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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